Today at lunch, I was in involved in a conversation that went something like this:
Me: Man, the market sure is crumbling down around us, eh?
The Other Guy: Yeah, it's unreal. Every company in every sector has been hit hard.
Me: That's not necessarily true. There are still companies that are untouched and thriving.
The Other Guy: Oh yea, which ones?
Me: Well, pretty much any company that deals in War and Porn.
The Other Guy: War and Porn! That's hilarious!
Me: Maybe so, but it's true.
The Other Guy: Ha! Well, it doesn't matter because War and Porn companies don't have many investors anyways.
Me: Are you kidding? The War Industry is one the largest, if not THE largest, in terms of investor capital raised and stock traded.
The Other Guy: C'mon. Who would invest in a War company? That's so plainly unethical, I don't know anyone who'd buy that stock.
Me: Um, does your portfolio include any stock from Boeing, Lockheed Martin, GE, Honeywell, or Raytheon?
The Other Guy: Um...(thinks for a bit)...yea, actually. Boeing, Lockheed, and GE, definitely.
Me: Then you're involved in the War industry up to your neck. Who do you think builds the missiles, planes, and vehicles that the US uses to crush brown people around the world?
The Other Guy: Hey! That's not fair!
Me: What's not fair is you not know what is being done with your own money. You're up to neck in weapons dealers and have no idea.
The Other Guy: Well at least that's better than investing the in Porn industry. The stigma!
Me: (jaw drops)
The Other Guy: What?
Me: Are you kidding?
The Other Guy: What??
Me: Do you really believe that it is morally superior to invest in companies that build missiles which kill children than it is to invest in a company that films adults fucking each other?
The Other Guy: I didn't say that. It's just...
Me: You're so ass-backwards. War=good, Sex=bad. This is why the rest of the world hates us. No one blinks an eye when you tell them that these major multi-billion companies that are literally inseparable from our government build the tools that are destroying the world. But if you mentioned sex, the reaction is visceral.
The Other Guy: Well, that's just how it is.
Me: Well, it's sick. This culture is sick. And you, my friend, are sick.
The Other Guy: Shut up and eat your noodles!
Om nom nom nom.
