For this post, I'll be replacing the brands "Ford", "Lincoln", and "Mercury" (all brands under the Ford Motor Company) with the word "Anal" (followed by appropriately inappropriate commentary).
Anal Focus
Not that funny, granted. But could be the title for a series of gay porn flicks ("Anal Focus 16: Meat Monocles").
Anal Ranger
Definitely anal-sex oriented. Actually, when I was in high school, I had a friend who got his girlfriend to take it in the ass. That girl's best friend was also my girlfriend at the time, and was the one who relayed the news to me. I was told, "Yeah, {girl's_name_deleted} took it in the ass; she's a real rump ranger now". So, associating "Anal" with "Ranger" is not without precedent. And no, I don't have any more details about my friends anal experience. Pervs!
Anal Fusion
Ah, nothing says "Alternative Energy" like ass-oriented power generation. It is believed that cold fusion, once achieved, will provide humanity with all the energy it needs, forever. I say we start with Anal Fusion; maybe all the power we need is already here, hidden in the recesses of our rectal power plants. Or something....Yeah....
Anal Escape
The Ford Escape is a hideous car to begin with. Associating it with anuses may actually HELP it's image!
Anal Mustang
Now here's a genuine "Brokeback"-style term for mustachioed gay cowboys. I'd elaborate, but you can already picture it. Or maybe you can't, but know what I'm getting at.
Anal Explorer
See "Anal Mustang".
Anal Expedition
Wow. An SUV that, proctologically speaking" would be quite a tough sell. Not eve Goatse man could take it!
Anal Navigator
One can navigate it with their "joystick".
Anal Aviator
This one doesn't quite work.
Anal Zephyr
Neither does this one, though it does sounds like a position straight out of the Kama Sutra.
Anal Mariner
It sure does get lonely on those long Naval deployments, eh?
Anal Grand Marquis
Not quite funny, but could be if it were a title bestowed upon the leader of an Anal club (though I'm not quite sure what an "anal club" is, where you'd find one, or what they do there).
Anal Mountaineer
For hemorrhoid lovers.
