Founding Fathers, Part I

This image is the first in a series I created earlier this year with the help of my friend Derk. The premise was simple: what would it look like if you took "sacred" images of our Founding Fathers, and superimposed on them modern propaganda terms that would describe their activities?

In this image, George Washington, commander of the Revolutionary Armies of the United States, would most likely have been tagged as an INSURGENT if King George had control of a massive media operation (much like our current King George and his cronies control Fox News). George Washington did lead an armed insurgency against the British, and was responsible for the deaths of countless Redcoats.

One man's insurgent is another man's freedom fighter. Never forget this during the daily Two Minutes Hate.

The Ex-fish

This is a dead fish. It's no longer alive. It has ceased to be. His total lack of movement, moisture, and internal organs most definitely points to it's status as deceased. Its' metabolic processes are history. It has kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

This, my readers, is an ex-fish.

While On The Topic Of Ridiculous Black Metal Poses...

Pop quiz: what do you get when you cross an ecologist in South Carolina, Chris Impellitteri, and norweigan black metal fashion sense? That's right, you get Lord Colostumus of the most famous band in Latvia, Anal Yogurt!!

I Used To Be Cute

I used to be a cute little boy. But even in this photo (taken when I was but the tender age of 5) you can sense the same undercurrent of melancholy that still lingers in some corners of my mind to this day.

What the hell happened to me?

The Fearless Rodent

If you feed the squirrels, they lose their fear of humans. First, it's cute how they take the trail mix out of your hand. But soon, they will begin to organize and launch their inevitable attack against all of humankind for ultimate control of the world's cashew supplies. Don't say you weren't warned.

The squirrels....they are coming!!

Sometimes, You Find The Beauty In The Darnedest Places...

Sometimes, you find beauty in the darnedest places. Take for example your average big-city high-rise construction site. It's an orgy of dust, steel, concrete, and machines. It's as industrial and urban as you can get. But someone took the time to do an oil painting on the fence that surrounded this particular construction site (you know how all construction sites have fences around them, right?).

Imagine that: an artist saw something that needed some beautification, and took it into their own hands to add humanity to something that so desperately needed it. The shame of it is, when the construction of the high-rise is complete, this fence will be torn down, and this piece of art will be lost forever.

Well, not forever. I took a picture of it and put it online. This singular act of expression will not go unnoticed (not if I can help it!).

Evidence of Stardom

You know, nothing says "You're A Rock Star" more than having a fan put your face on his birthday cake. Once a upon a time, I was in a rock band that didn't suck. We played harder edged pop-rock in the vain of Bon Jovi and Collective Soul. Above, you'll find a photo of the band after a show posing with the fan who's cake this is. Yes, I'm on a birthday cake. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. Lil' Mikey, wherever you are, You The Man Now, Dog!!

Not Photoshopped, Believe It Or Not...

One day a few years ago, the Everglades caught fire. And I don't mean a brush fire; I mean the whole fucking thing went up in flames, threatening life and property, and creating unimaginably huge pillars of smoke that reached 3 miles into the sky.

This photo shows me striking the "Buddy Jesus" pose in front of a scene of such devastation that the two juxtaposed still brings a smile to my face. This photo was not retouched or altered in any way; what you see behind me is the result of the Everglades fire overtaking a residential neighborhood. To my left you can see the flames leaping hundreds of feet into the air.

This was one scary day, and only Buddy Jesus could make it all better. :-)

Pan y Trabajo

One day, I found myself in an art museum in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I walked around for half an hour, taking in the artwork, which consisted mostly of a traveling exhibition that day. But tucked away in a corner was this masterpiece. Photography wasn't allowed (and that rule was strictly enforced by over-zealous curators), so my cousin created a diversion while I snapped this photo. The name of the piece is 'Pan y Trabajo', which translates to "Bread and Work" (it's written on the sign that one of the characters in the piece is carrying).

I don't know who created this, but I was instantly struck by it. It captures one of the doubtless millions of worker uprisings that happened in 20th century America (South, Central, and North). The look of desperation and anger on the faces of the hungry is palatable. Things are not that much different today, except that we've passively accepted that marching in the streets for our rights to eat and work will not accomplish much.

Some of the characters that particularly caught my eye are the shifty-eyed man with the green hat to the left, the despondant looking man just beneath him, and the baby in the center of the painting. All they want is to eat and to work, and for reasons beyond their control, they have been left with neither. They only know to take to the streets.

You should click on this photo and make it your desktop background. If anyone knows who the artist is that created this piece, or any history about this piece, please leave a comment!

Three Strangers (To Me)

My sister took this picture during her trip to South Africa. Besides being pleasing the eye and having a subtext of a warm family gathering, the recent history of South Africa (and the current plight of 90% of it's residents) gives this photo a bittersweet undercurrent.

Angela Among The Flowers

This is Angie. I can't say enough good things about her. She is awesome. She offered me, a total stranger, a place to stay when I went to see Vancouver for the first time. She is an angel. She has a dog that is the so cute, you think you'll die of cute overload. Check out www.dogasart.com and look for the Jack Russell Terrier.

Gravity Is Just A Word

In Whistler Bike Park, crazy slopestyle riders actually launch themselves off these kinds of ramps. All I can do is look at them dumbly, failing to grasp the size of their testicles for daring to do such things. By the way, this ramp is a "landing" ramp, meaning that off camera to the left is the "launching" ramp.

Yeah.

BBF

I call this one "Best Friends Forever". Took this on at Buntzen Lake Park in March of 2006. This picture still brings tears to my eyes.

Beauty Is A Hydra

Sometimes, I take photos that capture more than the moment; they capture a feeling that words fail to describe. This picture of my mom is one such picture. Taken in Vancouver during the autumn months, I feel that it is a superb depiction of love, on many levels. Click on it for a larger view, and just take it in.

Flying Over Tropical Canopies

Ziplining in the Costa Rican rain forest is something everyone should do at least once in their lives. Imagine attaching yourself to a 1000 meter long steel cable and zipping along over tropical canopies as silent as the wind. It was a transcendental experience. Yes, that's me in the photo (note: I am not really a bloodthirsty ghoul).

The Parrot Mafia

Once upon a time, I hung a birdhouse outside my front door. I get joy out of feeding seeds to wild birds. First, the pigeons came, as they are wont to do. Then, the blackbirds came and scared off the pigeons. Then, the mockingbirds came, followed by woodpeckers, bluejays, and squirrels (in that order). But all of those animals can't hold a candle to the green muthafuckin' parrots that took over the feeder. I mean, Christ....these fuckers come in, swoop down and pecks the shit out of everthing in the way, then proceed to engorge themselves on seed. They're a gang of six: 2 eat while 4 stand guard. It's the parrot mafia. Sure, they look cute...but only because you're not a mockingbird.

The New Format

I'm going to try something new with this forum. Every posting will include a photo of some sort, along with commentary about that photo. The majority of the photos will be of my own taking, but some might not be. I may be linking to online photo albums that I've collected, along with stories about them. I thought this might be a nice change of pace from my usual firebrand sermons on the evils of...well, everything. Don't expect stories about puppies and unicorns, but a more relaxed approach to blogging.

Thank you for your interest!

By the way, this is a bird that lives in my uncle's yard in Argentina (or at least he did four years ago when I last visited). The bird thinks he's a chicken......long story.

Yes, Virginia. There really are people this crazy.

Yes, this is really me. No, there's no excuse for it. Nor will I make any apologies of any sort for this behaviour. If a man can't dress himself up as a ghoul, a bloodthirsty fiend of the night, then what CAN a man do??

One day, my friend and I thought it would be fun to dress up like badly made-up Black Metal dudes. If you're not familiar with the Black Metal look, or why it's only just to mock it, may I direct you to what it quite possibly the funniest website in existence on the topic: Ruthless Reviews.

Once you read through these, this picture of me will make much more sense. Until then, you are free to laugh at my corpsepaint, my ten dollar Goodwill Store trenchcoat covered in drywall dust, my nylon wig, and my oh-so-scary death mask.

Yes, I had a great time with this, and I would do it again if the opportunity arose...just not in public. Cheers!